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December 16, 2011

My Banter from the Past !! - 2011

Revelation can occur at the most unlikely places. After a largely successful attempt at eating Noodles at Bowl-O-China solely using CHOP-STICKS, I realized why there is virtually no obesity in China. CHOP STICK as an eating tool lends itself to smaller morsel of food - lesser diet. So to tackle the weight issue in India ..I have decided to embark on a campaign to CHOP STICK ENABLE all INDIAN CUISINE. Ideas welcome :-)

Two dialogues I loved from movie - Gulliver Travels
Gulliver to Princess Mary (when she tells him about her love for Horatio) " But that's great, don't be forlorn about that, most people will spend their whole lives looking for it and they don't find it, go for it, follow your heart"

Gulliver to assistant " There's no such thing as little jobs....only little people"    ....  How Poignant!

Dilberts Law of STRANGE employee behaviour - Employees who never made an attempt to interact (make friends) with any co-worker during their entire TENURE, will STRANGELY start to socialize and connect with all other co-workers when serving a notice period. 

On my third re-reading of "The Discovery of India", Have a feeling that I am going to reread this revealing book every 3-4 years for the rest of my life ..for trying to Discover India is nothing short of Discovering MY own self.

When Government gives "IN PRINCIPLE APPROVAL" to a legitimate demand, it means Government has RUN OUT of EXCUSES to REFUSE that demand and NEED MORE TIME to find new EXCUSES !!!  ( On a separate note - Politics and Principles do make for strange bed-fellows)

Dilbert's Law of Management books (Books like- Good to Great, 7 Habits,Leadership secrets, et al) ---- Astonishingly EVERYONE who reads these books think their own MANAGEMENT / LEADERSHIP style closely RESEMBLES that of the LEADERS described in those books. . Sorry the law has no exceptions - you and me are included !

Observed two colleagues of mine in a animated conversation, so inquired if they were "FAST friends". To my surprise both replied in unison "Nope" .. OUR FRIENDSHIP GREW SLOWLY !!!!!

In an exceptional development today, MURPHY'S LAW OF AIR TRAVEL was BROKEN. Law states that more beautiful the women that boards the plane the further her seat will be from yours. I told the girl seating next to me that 'she broke that law". She blushed and replied " in that case your name must be Murphy"

Indian cricketer part of World Cup squad talking to a reporter .. " this World Cup might be the only one I get to play in, so I want to make the best use of this opportunity". Reporter innocently inquired " so what is the target for the WC you have set for yourself ??" .     Cricketer " At least 6 brand endorsements, 1 Commentary contract and 10-12 Television commercials"

Strictly MEN Humor:
THE MOST AWKWARD SILENCE - You enter a rest room, confidently a Senior Leader walks in too. Both of you are now standing at the urinal..and then ..then there is DEAFENING SILENCE .. seconds seem like light years .. after what seems like an AWKWARD ETERNITY ..lo and behold .. the gushing of the jet stream breaks the silence. .. truly ALL MEN ARE EQUAL when it comes to the AWKWARD SILENCE .

Just when you think u have hit the bottom, nothing worst can happen, trust me, God has a surprise in store for you.. I call that evidence of Intelligent design.

In God I have infinite trust but unfortunately I work with only humans !!!

When Sakshi was asked to make a study time-table to plan her studies up to her final exam day, we were humorously surprised to see her write in the comment section against the last exam-day.. it read   " THIS IS IT"

Unlikely Winners # As the world cup matches, increasingly result in a NAIL- BITING finish, the MANICURE industry is reporting brisk business

In 1999 trying to position myself for a role at GE , interview panel probed -why GE ? to their surprise.. I sang the GE Jingle right there on the call

What we doing here, its perfectly clear
We are making the world go round
We are making the world a better place
right from our own home town
What we do it here
We bring good things to all the world
We bring good things to life

and on completing said That's WHY !! I was hired

(On 23rd March- a day before the crucial India vs Australia quarter final encourter)
Struggling to sleep, worried about the India vs Australia WC Quarter final encounter tomorrow, here is a quick remedy ..INDIA IS NOT PLAYING THE MATCH TOMORROW ... yup.. you heard it right . India not playing, match is between BCCI ( Board of Cricket Control of India) and ACB (Australian Cricket Board) .. two private clubs.. nothing got to do with GOI or even any state government .. now please sleep :-)

(March -- US and later NATO join in supporting the Libyan rebels fighting Gaddafi forces in Benghazi)

Admire the spirit with which US is liberating PEOPLE of Libya from its TYRANT RULER, wish they follow the same for people of so many other countries long suffering at the hand of their despotic rulers -- Burma, Chad, Gambia, Equatorial Guinea, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan .. But its unlikely they will, as those countries lack the 3 letter word that US loves a lot.. and that word is not sex .    

(Obviously that 3 letter word was OIL)

(On 24th March- after winning against Australia in the Quarter final)

Yesterday it was ANXIETY today its ECSTASY ..

Within a few weeks of starting on my 1st job, IPCL cricket stadium in Baroda hosted its 1st ODI between India and New Zealand on 28th Oct 94. Having a ticket, told Dad of my resolve to bunk office to watch the match. But my dad insisted otherwise, reluctantly I went to work instead :-( 16 years later on Wednesday- 30th March , Would not make the same mistake again, I WON'T BE TELLING MY DAD..  

(On March 30th India Pakistan semi final match)

NEVER in the history of any civilization have the PEOPLE so eagerly waited NOT for the weekend to come, but for the weekend TO GET OVER QUICKLY !!

( World Cup 2011 final encouter between  India vs Sri Lanka was on Monday- 4th April)

SYRIAN Government to the Protesting People -- " WE WILL ALLOW YOU THE RIGHT TO PROTEST, IF YOU STOP PROTESTING' -     Who says Government do not understand humour

(As protest erupt accross several Syrian cities against President Assad's regime)

TRULY we live in an MYSTICAL land ,only in INDIA would a community go to such exemplary and commendable lengths to be ACCEPTED as an INFERIOR CASTE. Instead of demanding upward mobility , Jats are violently agitating to be included in the lower caste .. We are witnessing something UNPRECEDENTED since evolution itself

How to increase the Tiger population ..... put up giant screens in the areas were tigers congregate and show some SPICY HOT movies. You may ask what if there a runaway population growth,, well in that case switchover to show them CRICKET (Most Tigers will forget even eating)

(Save Tiger campaign emphasizing that only 1400 tigers are left in India goes into over drive)

When it comes to Cricket, there are no LAYMAN's in India, EVERYONE is an EXPERT !!!

Someone asked " Were people in your office working yesterday ?". I answered
" Offcourse .... CHEERING for INDIA was a FULL- TIME JOB" inst it !!! 

( All the above posts in the run up to the World Cup Final on 4th April - Monday --  below posts after winning the World Cup)


JOB IS DONE ...after several weeks of anxiety,all Indians are going to sleep well tonite .... Or in Sakshi's lingo " THIS IS IT" :-) ..

My congratulations to all INDIANS across the world ...may we all learn from our team.. our strength is in our UNITY !!!

Though not religious, I have a practice of reading वेंकटेश स्तोत्र whenever my mind is clouded with self-doubt. Today being a non-working day, did not feel the need of reading it. But all that changed as soon as Sehwag got out. :-) And like millions of other Indians I joined in the prayers ... -

(After Sehwag got out cheaply in the final against Sri Lanka)

Millions of Indians felt that deep stirring inside and shed 'Tears of Happiness' seeing their Team win the World Cup.. ... because in that triumph they saw PROMISE of their own REDEMPTION, redeption from dire circumstances, from discrimination, from inferiority. And Cricketing success was just a METAPHOR  -

(As the World Cup fever subsided, Anna Haraze and the Anti Corruption crusade got into focus and Lokpall was on its way to become the most spoken new word of 2011)

We are NOW the undisputed WORLD LEADERS in CRICKET and CORRUPTION. Because for every YUVRAJ in Cricket, we have A RAJA of Corruption. (creative comparisions welcome.

Why did PAWAR quit the GoM (Group of Ministers) drafting the Anti-Corruption bill ... BECAUSE NO ONE WAS OFFERING HIM ANY KICKBACKS / BRIBE FOR DRAFTING IT
(After agitation started by Anna, Government agrees to create a GoM to draft the Anti-Corruption or Lokpal bill)

Tunisia ... Egypt... Libya .... Syria ...... India !!!
(Dont know why no one has picked up this connection but its clearly extension of the same People Revolution sweeping thru North Aftrica -Middle East )-

Wish my daughter was bit grown up to make sense of it all . part of self-respect emanates from being aware of our heritage, our country. (Not in chauvinist sense) CWG games , Obama's address to parliament, World Cup Glory and today.. 72 year old war-veteran making GOI agree to a proposal they have been stalling for 42 years.. all this would have left a profound impression on her mind about her country ! -

(April 9 - after the agitation and fast led by Anna Hazare made the Government agree on the Lokpal bill)

The more I discover Anna, the more veneration I feel towards him. And he is no Gandhi LITE !! Infact he is an UPDATED version. He is the appropriate Gandhi for the times we live in ----- "Aggression of Shivaji , mannersim of the Mahatma".


Someone at work questioned " were you on a tea-break", I retored back " No I was taking a "STRATEGIC TIME OUT" !!!   -

(April 14 - and start of the IPL 4 season)

Our ancestors put in such enormous energy in creating monuments, forts, temples, structures to promote Tourism. Least we can do is "go visit" "


Imagine if 'War on Corruption' resembled 'War on Terror', we would be sending Figher jets on sorties to bomb the MOST corrupt locations on this PLANET. And Regional Passport Offices especially the one in Hyderabad would be a good TARGET to start with. Millions of hapless, ordinary Indians have suffered because of ths corrupt institution. And any Indian being harrased by corrupt officials can call in an AIR STRIKE !

I wish US warns Indian government that it too will face Abbotabad type operations if it does not take action against terrorists. Imagine the embarrassment of our government when US special forces land on the Arthur-road jail in Mumbai to take Ajmal Kasab out.

(May 6 - After the US troops secretly entered the Pakistani airspace and killed Osama Bin Laden who was living in hiding at Abbotabad)

Find it very AMUSING when cricketers who have NEVER captained or coached a side give all sorts of GYAN as commentrators. Makes me wish there were similar positions in the CORPORATE WORLD and I had that role of corporate COMMENTRATER , no need to do or prove anything, I have unlimited supply of SAMIRISMS too   --

(May 12 - IPL semi-final when Siddhu gave some comment like Mumbai Indians have dig their own grave etc)

Did you hear about the INDIAN UPRISING ..about the PEOPLE REVOLUTION sweeping thru our states..... please switch on the TV.. this is how INDIANS REVOLT !!! Ballots over Bullets 

(May 13th Indian elections in 3 states witnessed spectacular results - CPM who were ruling in West Bengal for 60 years were completely routed , so was DMK from Tamilnadu and Lalu Prasad Yadav's RJD lost on most seats in Bihar )

I to Sakshi " Why dont you learn GOOD things like etiquittes, courage, from movies that you watch so frequently- Cindrella, Snow white, Mulan"
Sakshi " But dad , I do not learn any BAD Things from watching Shinchan either" ...  "Thank you so much my child " I answered..  was left speechless what else could you say ???.. children are smarter than men .. undoubtedly


There are no secrets of good photography ,rather the secret is all about the laws of PROBABILITY. Which state that for every 100 pictures you take, 10 of them would be GREAT SHOTS. Difference usually is between those who upload all the 100 and those who upload just those 10.
Breaking News: Pakistan Rejects the list of 50 MOST WANTED terrorists provided by India.States they have more far more dangerous terrorists sheltering in their country as the reason -

(May 25, debacle of providing the list of 50 most wanted terrorists to Pakistan)

Reason I am more of a Facebook types than Linkedin types because I think I am more of a REAL PERSON than a RANK PROFESSIONAL and I have a REAL LIFE than just a CAREER !!!!! 


If WOMEN were really attracted to MEN because of their DEODORANT, the way they show in TV commercials, trust me all men would have bathe in DEO instead of WATER .... And Deo making comapanies would have been BIGGER and more profitable than even the BIG OIL companies

Reuters wire have reported tht all contestents in the toughest endurance race on planet -Ironman race, have withdrawn their nomination, after the race officials included getting a passport renewed at the RPO in Hyderabad as one of the stages in the race. Contestents were unanimous in stating that only humanly possible challenges should be included in the race not the ones in the realms of the divine, the wire said. -

( On June 29th as I struggled to get Sakshi's passport renewed in Hyderbad)

We had a debate on "Whether the world was REALLY going to end in 2012 ?". At the end of the debate I took an audience poll , asked those, who really WISHED for the world to end in 2012, to raise their hands.
Guess what -- One GUY did.
You got it -- HE HAD RECENTLY MARRIED !!! 

Alas..... if only THINKING could BURN calories ...... We would be the fittest country on the planet ...


US reeling under a $ 14 trillion debt, in desperate need of some financial leverage. What say - in place of giving the list of Top 50 MOST WANTED MEN to Pakistan, we give to US Special Forces instead,, at say $ 50 million a piece.- Its a Win-Winn - we get the Men, US gets $ 2.5 billion cash flow . And virtually little impact on India's $ 315 billion of foreign exchange reserves ... its a deal inst it

Pakistan media reported that after a spate of high-profile assasinations, regular terrorist attacks in major cities and secterian violence in Karachi, the most secure Pakistani in the world was Ajmal Kasab. Pakistani Government taking serious exception , expressed outrage stating that it wasnt Ajmal but Majid Khan held at Guantanamo Bay.

Considering the number of humans killed in the name of Religion every year, it seems that Religion is fulfilling the purpose for which it was created ..
"Taking MANKIND CLOSER TO GOD !!!" very well!!!!


Samir Konnur
 Why does GOD envy people living in India ??? कुअकी भगवन के घर में देर हे अंधेर नहीं  ------  , लकिन इंडियनइंडिया के पास दोनों हे  

It does not really matter whether you HOPE for the best, but it is INDESPENSABLE that you PREPARE for the WORST !!!

Indian Government concerned with how acutely DISSATISFIED its citizens are, have embarked on a very novel project to improve the SATISFACTION LEVEL amongst its citizenry -- now any DISGRUNTLED Indian would have an option of going on a Govenrment sponsored all expense paid 3-month trip to either Somalia, Zimbabwe or Congo !!!

(July -As the Telegana bandh fever caught Hyderabad in its grip with bandhs being called almost every alternate week)

Congratulations HYDERABADIS .. UNESCO has announced Hyderabad as the "BANDH" Capital of the World !! Various tour operaters are already planning to organize Special Bandh tours to capitalize on this announcement.

Breaking News: In order to avoid Hyderabad BANDHS, IT/ BPO Companies to hire HELICOPTERS to transport their work force to the work place. For pick ups, office workers would have to climb up the suspended ladders to the Helicopter. While for drops, each one would be given a parachute. !!!! 

CNN is launching a 24/7 channel DEDICATED to covering CORRUPTION SCANDALS / SCAMS in INDIA. Ours will be the only country to have this priveledge, Channel will include for the very first time features like city wise corruption levels, corruption forecasts, Top 10 scams countdown and corrupt celebrity interviews. They are currently examining different names for the channel .. suggestions welcome !!!

Air-India onboard annoucement --" Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard Air India now we will demonstrate our safety instructions, kindly follow carefully. Straighten up , join the palm of your hands in front of your chest, close your eyes, take a deep breadth ,, and pray " Ohh Allmighty God, we pray for our safe journey and decent service by the cabin crew" . Now repeat the prayer in your vernacular language " 

Noticing how MOURNERS who show up at the funerals to offer condelences are DRESSED in Stylish clothes, a popular retail chain is launching a special FUNERAL LINE OF CLOTHING !!!!

I dont know why we keep COMPLAINING about corruption in India, after all we get the best quality Corruption in the world ....

India is the biggest Foreign Direct Investor in Switzerland.... seriously.. India is the single largest Foreign Direct Investor in Switzerland.... provided you include all that illicit black money deposited by our politicians in their various SWISS Accounts !!

BCCI in order to ensure we will not get defeated in the following 2 test matches against England --is exploring an alternative fool proof game strategy -- RAIN HARVESTING !! 

( Aug 4- after India on tour of England lost 2 test matches. India will go on to lose every match they play here on tour)

"a BEAR and an BULL Looked out of the prison bars, BEAR saw the dust, the BULL saw the stars" ( Retrofitting a old adage to our Capital market lingo) !!

(Aug 5 - As the European debt crises started hurting. I had relocated to UK in the last week of July)

With the imminent passing of the Lokball bill, Government has approved a Rs. 30 crore EXPANSION PLAN of Tihar jail. In the tender documents released tonight each political party will also be given space to establish their offices inside the Jail premises as most of their leaders are anticipated to be locked up. If you have any other ideas to add to the Govt tender please don't hesitate to share with us 


I watched the news reports of the First day play of the 3rd Test on the British Sky news channel , and realized that ... not everyone is disappointed about our poor batting performance !!! -

(Aug 12 - After India went on to lose the 3rd test match against England )

US has found a innovative way to eliminate the huge US deficit. Starting Monday NASA will start selling SMALL TRACKS OF SPACE in outer space. On being questioned WHO would buy them , NASA explained that everyone seems to be wanting to HAVE THEIR OWN SPACE !!! 

(Aug 13- US Budget deficit issue surfaces with the fear of a Government lock down)

For all those who have written wanton non-sense over India's humiliating 0-3 defeat at the hands of English cricket team, I got some news for you. mind you.... IT IS NOT OVER YET !!! .. We have ONE more test match to lose !!!  -

( Aug 16)

British Government has a penchant for rule books, operating procedures, manuals, et al. Infact they have a 5 page rule book just on disposing trash and currently they are debating on introducing specific instructions on how to wipe your ass !!!  -

Nothing unites our complex country like Cricket and Corruption does !!! -

( Aug 18 - As Anna Hazare launches his second fast at Ram Lila Maidan on 18th to coincide with the anniversary of the Quit India movement) 

Tunisia - Kasbah Square
Egypt - Tahrir Square
Yemen - Freedom Square
Bahraim - Pearl Square
Libya - Al keesh Square (Benghazi)
India - Ram Lila maidan !!! -

It is NOT amongst the 10 commandments, neither mentioned is the Old testament, nor in the New , neither in the Geeta, nor in the Koran, neither referred to in the Vedas nor in the Puranas. And It was not until just over 200 years ago when the American Constitution proclaimed "Life, Liberty and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS" as the ideal for life. Mankind has generally been UNHAPPY ever since. Cause we were not created to be happy but simply productive !!!

Beautiful Coincidence -- As the Libyans celebrated the demise of Gaddafi's regime, BBC News Service brought LIVE pictures- of the celebrations from Green Square in Tripoli. With people waving flags, shouting, chanting slogans,cheering, the catch was the pictures happened to be from Ram Lila Maidan, New Delhi instead. Had it not been for the distinct Indian Tri-color no viewers  would have been able to make the difference !!! 

(Aug 28 - Gaddafi regime falls in Tripoli, though Gaddafi goes into hiding. And on the 10th day of his fast, Anna Hazare once more get Government to agree to the terms of Lokpal Bill his team had tabled)

Do you find yourself in an embarrassing situation not being able to identify a specific species of animal /bird being shown on television for your child !!! Empower yourself parents , you need to be better informed !!! ----- "Tell your child, there are 8.5 MILLION species on this planet, do you expect me to know each one of them" 

World's SCARCEST resource is MATURITY !!!!

Continued from previous post -------- "Its very funny how nowadays people use intelligence while dealing with other humans, but use emotions while buying stuff.. say like a cell phone "


A Man who walks the furthest is usually in search of HIMSELF !!!

Paradox of human relationships is such that humans can evolve from being SOUL-MATES to become perfect STRANGERS !!

In an unusual case of reverse outsourcing, on the eve of the 10th Anniversary of 9-11 ,Indian Govt. officials have signed a secret billion dollar deal with US Dept. of State,to OUTSOURCE our INTERNAL SECURITY. Short note released to the press stated 'US has avoided any attacks since 911 while India continues to be attacked every month, going forward FBI / CBI will be in charge of our internal security and all terrorist caught will be send to Texas for execution" -

(Sep 11 - 2011 - 10 years since Sep 11)

Today I was reminded of the address ,Queen Elizabeth II gave after the September 11th attacks , she remarked -- "GRIEF IS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LOVE" -------------- 10 years on, I still feel how poignant, deeply meaningful that remark was. " Grief is indeed the price we pay for love" and Not to love, is without a doubt , not an option !!!!

My laptop has gone CRAZY, inspite of turning the inbuilt web cam towards the USB Port where the wireless data card is connected ---it still keeps claiming ignorance and blurts a stupid error message "SEARCHING FOR DEVICE " !!!

( Again Hyderabad is brought to a halt by the incessant bandhs called by Telegana activists)

Open letter -- “ Dear Telegana Bandh Activists , You are so unfair. We are extremely disappointed with you. What crime have we committed , what harm have we caused you. We Live in a democracy and everyone is supposed to be treated equal ,, but then so why does just Hyderabad gets to enjoy your esteemed company, what wrong have other cities done ?? "

Delighted to report they Telegana BANDH activists have agreed to my suggestion ------ From now on we will have a ROLLING --Telegana Bandh all over the world - Madrid, Milan, Sao Paulo, Perth, New York, London (thank god for small mercies), so the entire world can rejoice. Everyone will now have a right to atleast 2 days of Bandhs in a year as per the new charter on Human Rights !!Telegana issue will now go to the UN for resolution meaning it will never be resolved .

US Government in an sinister / smart move has forced Facebook to start charging its users, in order to reduce its $ 1.4 trillion federal deficit. At $ 4 monthly subscription charge for its 750 million users Facebook is expected to generate $ 1.8 trillion over the next 50 years thus not just wiping the trade deficit but turning the US economy into surplus. (4 * 750,000,000 * 12 * 50). Mark Zuckerberg will be declared the next US President in return. -

(Sep 27- when rumours surfaced that Facebook to charge its users)

Germany, Brazil, Australia, Argentina, Thailand, Iceland, Bangladesh, Slovakia, Croatia, Costa Rica, Kosova ..... are the countries that are currently being LEAD by WOMEN Leaders !!! .....
Well there is some HOPE for the future of mankind now !!

Sakshi told me she wants to grow up quickly for a reason .. I was delighted thinking she had found her calling .. a compelling reason to grow up , something to discover ---and burst out laughing when she qualified her answer " Dad I want to grow up quickly so that I will be allowed to watch ' FRIENDS' !!  ( such is the maya of that wonderful sitcom)

Just loved a remark made by David Cameroon at the Conservative Party conference today .... " It does not matter how BIG is the DOG in the FIGHT , what matters is how BIG is the FIGHT in the DOG " !!! Me too no big dog, but big fight inside this dog !! -

(Oct 6 - at the Conservative party conference)

Online support group ~ ~ PROUD BALD MEN Club ~~ who love being bald and reject the trauma of living with various stages of hair-loss published an interesting piece of research. It concluded that MEN think being BALD was BETTER than being with receding hairline . I could not stop myself laughing -- After all who the hell cares what MEN think , what really matters is WHAT WOMEN THINK !!! inst it ??? 

2005 while at GE, was a breakthrough year in my career, established my leadership credentials beyond scrutiny, but that was after having struggled for several years for due recognition at GE reflected on a comment my boss at GE ,had written in my appraisal in 2006. "NO ONE CAN EVER DEFEAT A PERSON, WHO NEVER GIVES UP " !!!
And through far worst of times that have followed since, this has been my guiding principle --- never stop trying !! -

(As I celebrated my 17th work anniversary  -Oct 15)

No amount of SUCCESS goes to my HEAD !!!
No measure of FAILURE goes to my HEART !!

(And just love it that way )

Watched the 80s movie ' PREM ROG ' , though had seen it in bits & pieces earlier ,saw it thru, till the end for the first time. What a heartrending movie .. timeless story ... with a eternal theme ... LOVE and its infinite power to win over every odd !! And at the same time a feeling that is still largely misunderstood !! Because to understand true manifestation of love one needs maturity which the world is acutely short of !!

Nothing is as strong as TEAM SPIRIT !!! (official slogan of the Rugby World Cup)
For those who don't understand this sport like me think of it as "KABADDI PLAYED WITH A BALL ON A FOOTBALL PITCH !!!  Much awaited finals this weekend between France and New Zealand. As I have plenty of friends living in New Zealand .. would be cheering the 'all blacks' It would be an inspiring comeback for a country who has not won the title for the last 30 years and something to cheer after the devastating earthquakes earlier this year. -

(Rugby World Cup final between France and New Zealand at Auckland on Oct 21, NZ went on to win a tightly contested final)

A man with a sincere heart and an intelligent mind will always have a tortured SOUL

One of the biggest success story in India - mobile telephony / Reason - cheapest call rates in the world / Reason -- telecom companies did not have to pay exorbitant cost to acquire licenses are largely debt free and can survive on slip margins / Reason -- kick backs to politicians to get cheap licenses. If you compute the economic benefit delivered because of cheap mobile telephony it will easily offset the potential loss of 0000 millions incurred by the Government over the license fees. We should be under no illusion that had the telecom companies paid those zillion millions in license fees even now cell phones would have been the privilege of the wealthy few

These days I have started enjoying KBC -- it is not the questions being asked that excite me, it is the stories that participant share that inspire me. Stories of oridinary struggling rural Indians .. Sushil kumar from an obscure hamlet in Bihar winning 5 crores on KBC to me is equivalent to MSD from Jamshedpur captaining the Indian team. India has a future not because of the urban elite but for the rural poor ... !!

(Nov 3 - As Sushil Kumar becomes the first contestent to win 5 crore on KBC and creates history)

In their endless quest to dominate Europe, Germans waged two World Wars against the allied forces of US, England, France and Russia. First World War cost them $ 37 billion , Second World War - $ 272 billion. Both the campaigns were ultimately futile , taking millions of human lives on all sides in the war and plunging most of Europe into economic ruin.  66 years after the guns fell silent, last month Germany contributed the majority ( $ 300 billion) of the $ 595 billion European bailout fund. What German military might could not accomplish , their economic might did- dominate Europe , UNOPPOSED.  (There is some lessen to be learned here, though I am not entirely sure what :-)

(November 6 - European Bailout fund is launched to rescue Greece, Italy and other countries in economic distress in the EU) 

Picture might be worth a thousand words but when it comes to humans (picture of humans) they can be highly misleading. Read those thousand words at your own peril !!!

To me Japan is a unique conundrum of history. A race that considered itself so superior that it treated other people under their rule even worst than animals ( From Manchuria to Korea, Pacific islands & Indo-Burma- 1930-40s)). And killed civilians and enemy combatants alike with abandon, who systematically used exploitation of women as a war tool ( Nanking -China - 1933-34), who created the first suicide bomber in history - the kamakazi (Pacific -1940) . It is a paradox that today this very Nation has the lowest crime rate in the world, is considered an epitome of civility, tradition and till very recently the second largest ecomomy in the world. Was it the devastation caused by the Atomic bomb in Hiroshima / Nagasaki or a geneuine collective transformation after realizing the futility of violence (a la Valmiki moment who converted from being a bandit to a sage) .. we will never find out !!! .. It is only History that can create such paradoxes !!

Life's foible ----- People who are UMEMOTIONAL tend to be HAPPIER !! But than for someone UNEMOTIONAL it hardly makes any difference whether they are happy or not !!


People travel thousands of miles to see the WORLD but come back with their OWN pictures !!!

Had a EUREKA moment ( figuratively speaking :-) ) reading about the recent auction at Southbys for an 19th century painting by an Austrain artist Gustav Klimt that raised 40 million dollars . There is actually a rather simple solution to solve the European debt crises, both Greek and Italian deeply indebted economies are just a MUSEUM away from economic recovery !! Eureka .. Eureka .. .....Greece also happens to have several small uninhabitad islands in the Aegean sea !!!

( Nov 17 - Greece debt crises worsens)

Most people's life would be TRANSFORMED ----- if they follow EVEN HALF of the wise quotes / thoughts they post on their profiles !!!

If you don't take the effort of writing a description for your pictures, I wont take the pain of commenting on them !!

Happiness is one of the most over-rated of human emotions !!!

2011 undoubtedly has been a year of PROTESTS - from the Arab spring in Middle East , anti corruption drive in India, numerous protests against austerity measures across Europe, to the Occupy Wall Street protests in America & Australia. So I am proposing a Mobile App, that depending on your whereabouts will guide you to a PROTEST near you !!! " IN THE YEAR OF PROTESTS, DONT BE LEFT BEHIND " .. Go protest -

(Nov 22 - Occupy Wall Street movement gains tremendous support as people protest in several cities across US. Time magazine will declare ' The Protester' -- Time Person of the Year 2011)

Reason most humans struggle with weight is not Physical fitness but Psychology. We always over-estimate the calories we burn from whatever little exercise we do, but under-estimate the calories we gain from the food that we so generously hog. So very human .

Guess the only beings who do not look forward to thanksgiving are the Turkeys !!

(Nov 25- Thanksgiving holidays )

Walmart to grow genetically modified wild-Turkeys in China to REDUCE COST. the special modified GENE will get active just a week prior to thanksgiving, compelling all the Turkeys to take flight from China mass migrate over Europe & reach specific slaughter houses in America,GPS homing devices tagged to the bird will help them navigate. Walmart further claims that in the future, families can PRE-ORDER Turkeys that will fly directly to their kitchens from China. Any other ideas to reduce cost of Turkeys, welcome !!! -

Considering the oversized impact the arrival of Mayflower at (present day) Plymouth , Massachusetts in 1620 had on the rest of the world. Inst it fair that the whole world deserves to celebrate Thanksgiving and enjoy the long weekend !!!

 a MAN who is at war with himself will not find peace even if he is seating in the lap of the ALLMIGHTY itself.

It appears that this verse from Bible was meant for all Facebook philosophers (me included) ---- "The Men who think he knows does not yet know what knowing is " !!! How accurate !!!

When Life itself is propelling us at such breath-neck speed, I find the need of thrill seekers for over-speed driving on the roads quite silly.

The simplest way to forget an old emotional bruise, an old hurt is to get a new one !!  armchair philosopher at work !!!!!

Tell me a Bollywood actor in the past 40 years and I will show you the movie in which they would have acted with AMITABH BACHCHAN . Such is his passion for acting, such is the logevity of his career.

Now with our programming folks using facebook while writing software code simultaneously.... I expect all sorts of humorous outcomes !!!

It was not fire but CORRUPTION that took the lives of 89 hapless souls in Kolkatta. (if Government safety inspecters had done their job, disaster of this magnitude would have been averted)

(Dec 10 - an hospital in Kolkatta catches fire and 89 patients are burnt in the inferno)

To FORGIVE might sound divine, but to FORGET is much more practical !!

LIFE IS UNFAIR , after all if it were fair ,the indigenous Americans would be living in New York City, while all those Europeans who migrated to the new world continent living on reservations. ........However in that case there would be NO, New York City !!!

The further you live a hard -challenging life, the lesser will you be inclined, to pass judgement on others.

It is not hatred but indifference that we all truly dread !!!

I dont think because I share !!! I share because I THINK !!!

All of my school-mates have grown into confident gorgeous women !! Damn .. I should have listened to my class teachers , they kept telling me to be more ATTENTIVE in school !!!

One wise post does not a philosopher make !!!

Last year while waiting for our car after the school annual function , Sakshi indicated towards a boy from another standard, who had acted along with her in a drama, and told me "he is really cute". Got so completely, so thoroughly taken by surprise, unable to think of any sensible reply, out of panic , I pointed at the night sky to draw her attention towards the shining Jupiter & divert the subject .. !!! Thank God for STARRY Night

When u want to create a story in life,  dont let the fear of it remaining incomplete, hold you back.  Its better to die with an unfinished story than no story at all.

July 30, 2011

Back to Business !!!

As I begin the voyage to another destination in this 17 year long odyssey, was reminded of a note I wrote to my close friends, a little less than 2 years ago, when I relocated from Juarez, Mexico to another assignment in Chennai, India.

(Note below)

-----Original Message-----
From: Konnur, Samir (Cognizant)
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 7:21 AM
To: Konnur, Samir (Cognizant)
Subject: Back to business...

Back to business...

There was a banner outside Hollywood Bowl in LA it read "The best classroom inst a classroom, it's a stage" and these days it reminds me....well I am on the stage now...the moment of truth has arrived...and over the next year.. all the training & preparation of the past 2 years would be put to its ultimate test....

No amount of medication will remedy a patient in need of surgery,likewise no amount of superficial change will do , when we are in need of fundamental change to our lives. Similarly for me to be successful in this assignment no amount of incremental change would do, I need to take an exponential leap forward...chances of a hard-landing are all too real... Wish me luck ....

Like I did over the last few years, will take all of you along on this journey...stay aboard..

And dont be surprised if you notice a bias towards management,leadership and organization in the personal essays that I share ,, it reflects the 'changing sands of time'

As I play the story of my life, please keep sharing your stories too, I love to hear them.. For as the lyrics from the popular Hindi song" Ek pyar ka nagma" ...reads " zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahani hey" ...

Wish all of you the very best for every endevour in your life and let me know if I can make any positive difference...


Those last 2 years turned out to be absolutely fabulous because of the incredibly talented team and managers I got to lead.

Now the clock turns back one more time, and I start another assignment this time in London, UK with almost similar emotions.. Wish me luck !!!

April 12, 2011

An Unusual Applicant --- Part II (The Verdict)

(This is sequel to to my previous blog )

Stand-off in Dev Sabha continues:

Inspite of Brahmas intervention,the debate on whether to grant membership to the unusual applicant has reached a stalemate. Indra, the speaker of the house, calls in for an emergency session of the Dev Sabha. After hours of discussion and several rounds of coffee , the Dev Sabha reaches its verdict late in the night, releasing this picture to the press to announce their decision.

April 10, 2011

In defense of Complexity & People who 'Think'

In recent times, Complexity or Complex Thinking has come under relentless criticism. Certain quarters of society even look down upon those who resort to deep thinking. To not engage in critical or deep thinking is fashionable and "cool". Those who think are considered naive. This is my submission to those claims.

Cause & Effect is one of the most fundamental laws of nature. Nature or Environment is the ultimate cause everything else is but an effect. Whenever the environment changed it resulted in numerous species adapting to it. Nowhere has a reverse phenomenon occurred, never has the change in the species caused the environment to adapt. Similarly complex thinking is outcome of the way ones 'life evolves'. It is safe to assume, everyone is born simple .. what follows thereafter, largely shapes the level of complexity in the way one thinks. It has been my observation that people who have had straight-forward lives tend to simplify, and those who had significant permutations tend to think complex. Often people are criticised that its their complex thinking that is the cause of complex situations. However in reality complex situations leads to complex thinking.

God is in simplicity. Simple living - Yes, Simple thinking - No. Case of an Atom is often cited to prove Gods simplistic ideals. Because structure of an atom was understood to be quite simple & elegant comprising a neutron, a proton & an electron. But in the last decade researchers have found a plethora of sub-atomic particles - quarks, leptons, muons, mesons..the list goes on. What was concluded as a simplistic atomic structure is proving out to be premature deja vu. In fact nature is so complex that after millenia of scientific inquiry we are not even remotely close to comprehending it. Ditto for DNA. If Universe is complex, why should Men the creation of the universe be thinking otherwise.

Simple Thinking --- Eat, drink, be merry,love a lot and do no harm to others, is the slogan often called out by proponents of simple thinking. And I wouldn't agree more, but this notion is fundamentally flawed. Because it makes - quest for knowledge, scientific curiosity, self-discovery, reflecting on life,inquiry into the very nature of our existence etc- unsophisticated or uncool. If all the great scientists, thinkers, inventors, explorers, philosophers, mathematicians, poets, doctors who preceded us had this limited vision of life, in all likelihood we would still be living in caves, hunting deers for lunch. ( May be ultimately that is what we might end up doing anyway)

Complex is not the same as Complicate --- Though Oxford dictionary does not discriminate between the two words, they are still distinct.let me explain. When I was studying Mechanical Engineering we went on a study tour of a Nuclear Power Plant. The plant was a labyrinth of cables, tunnels, valves, chambers, consoles, control panels et al. For me as a student it was very COMPLICATED, but for the power plant engineer it was MERELY COMPLEX.It is knowledge that Engineer had that tranformed something complicated (to me) into something merely complex ( to him). Truly Knowledge will set us free. Following this analogy further the notion that complex thinkers are complicated is inaccurate. Better example is the circuitry on the motherboard of any computer. .

Complex thinking does not lead to complex outcomes. It leads to more comprehensive outcomes especially since the problems that confront us today are non-linear, multi-dimensional & interconnected. Without that complex circuitry in your computer we would not be able to accomplish tasks that we take for granted today but which looked almost impossible to accomplish just 20 years ago.

Infact there is no such thing as Simple thinking,because the mere act of thinking is in itself a very complex sub-conscious process. No other species inhabiting the world have been endowed with this ability except humans. Indeed God is in Simplicity - But simplicity in Living, not Thinking !!

March 18, 2011

An Unusual Applicant !!

Disclaimer -- Without faith everything in life is fiction.

Dev Sabha in progress: The clamor of many voices speaking simultaneously gradually subsided and the gathering finally got underway. It was the most unusual nature of their meeting that had drawn such large participation, as it was uncommon for them to consider new applicants to join their privileged club - The Dev Sabha (They were strictly “membership by invitation only” .. if you would like) . But circumstances had led to their senior leaders conceding to this special session to consider the merit of this particular application.

However out of the hundreds of thousands who claimed membership, vast majority looked anxious and unexcited about the prospect of this applicant gaining membership. After all they had every reason to fear. Even before being granted membership,the concerned applicant garnered far more followers than most of them combined and had amassed an army of supporters to advance his cause. The prospect of losing their stature, following and future revenue streams was all too real. After millennia's of fairly stable comity .. the world of GODs was about to be shaken.The timeless GODs were about to be challenged .. that too by a mere 37 year old mortal. The mighty Brahamastra was going to face its strongest adversary yet .. a wooden Cricket BAT. And the HOLY TRINITY / TRIMURTHI was about to be expanded to FABULOUS FOUR (Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh & SACHIN) - The Creator, The Preserver , The Destroyer and The Run Scorer !

Narada the chief counsel began the proceedings with his usual candor -- " Narayan, Narayan, Gods & Goddesses , welcome to the Dev Sabha , Indra , the speaker of our house just messaged me about being late, Aairavat (Indra's elephant transport) is yet to find parking. As most of you would have heard rumours over the past few months or read in the newspapers or watched on the news channels .. there is a growing recognition among Indians.. that 'Sachin is God' !! In response to this our CEO, Vishnu had assigned a task force to investigate about this man.. sorry.. he is no ordinary man .. he is ..mhhmmm a BATS-MAN.

"Task force was headed by Hanuman and after months of detailed investimation that included going thru all the records on and visiting the battlefields where this so called 'God of Cricket' had conquered its various enemies with no more powerful a weapon than a wooden stick. Would request Hanuman to table the findings to this house". Hanuman pushes some button on his laptop and projects the powerpoint slides on the skies in the Heaven.

March 2, 2011

From Bull Shit to Breaking News ....

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction like most of our news. And resemblance to anything real is purely coincidental.

The Election Commission has just announced the Assembly elections in Tamilnadu to be held in April The main opposition party - the AIDMK leader Jayalalitha has been keeping low profile and has been elusive for several months. As the election news broke the media scrambled & trampled to put out a news report on the current whereabouts of Jayalalitha. Desperate to report something & improve their flagging TRP this is what one enterprising news channel resorted to.

Live News --- Rajdeep (Newsreader)-- " Tamilnadu Assembly elections announced by the Election commission to be held in April have made the supporters of Jayalalitha ecstatic. Now let’s go straight to our reporter Manoj, stationed outside the residence of Jayalalitha " -- " Manoj what can you tell us about the mood of her supporters and the start of AIDMK’s official election campaign"

Manoj -- "Rajdeep.. there is a lot of excitement here amongst Jayalalitha supporters but we are also getting inside reports that since today morning Jayalalitha has reportedly gone to the bathroom (toilet) umpteen times. Her supporters have gone to the extent of calling it some kind of a conspiracy by the ruling DMK party to make their party leader sick……. Rajdeep"

Rajdeep --- " Manoj do we know if she has consulted any physician so far or has she taken any medication". Manoj -- " Details that are emerging are a bit hazy, but yes some time ago we did see a car enter her residence that the neighbors have identified as that of her family physician"

Breaking News (Ticker tape on the TV sceen) : Jayalalitha afflicted with Diarrhea, supporters alleging ruling party conspiracy, doctor has just arrived at the residence.

Rajdeep addressing the viewers -- "As you have just heard, Tamilnadu Elections have caused their first casualty .. with leader of the opposition down with Diarrhea .. we are the first channel to bring you live & exclusive report from her residence, and we have our reporter stationed to get our viewers up to the minute news."

Breaking News Alert -- Jaylalitha's family doctor is addressing a press conference outside the residence to give an update on her health

Doctor to the reporter " Today, our beloved Amma woke up at 5:30 am and reported some pain in the lower abdomen, after visiting the bathroom several times, she is feeling dehydrated and bit shaken. I cannot tell what is the cause of this Diarrhea attack at this point of time.. Thank you"

Rajdeep -- " Lets now talk to our expert Physician .. Dr. Brijesh .. Dr. Brijesh,, there is talk about Jayalalitha being given food that was laced with laxatives, can you tell us from the symptoms that the doctor mentioned could this be the case of food poisoning .. as some supporters are claiming and that the DMK party is behind it"

Dr. Brijesh .. " Rajdeep from the prima facie evidence we have seen yes this could be a case of food poisoning, though we need to see the medical reports to come to any specific conclusion, this also could have been caused by hyper tension or any particular change in local weather as that might cause what we sometimes refer to as stomach upset"

Rajdeep --" Thank you Dr. Brijesh, let us get an opinion from our Meteorological bureau chief, Mona".. "Mona you just heard Dr. Brijesh mention any change in Chennai weather to have caused this situation,, can you tell us if you noticed any particular weather change pattern in Chennai over the last 24 hours"

Mona referring to the Google Map Satellite image -- " Rajdeep, using the satellite images you can see there was a cluster of clouds just hovering around the residence of Jayalalitha .. so it’s possible that because of that it created a sort of localized high pressure in that area"

Breaking News Alert -- Cluster of clouds hovering over Jayalalitha house created high-pressure atmosphere which could have caused Diarrhea - Experts say '

Rajdeep --"Now let’s return back to our reporter at the ground .. By the way let me tell our viewers this coverage is live & exclusive for this channel only and we are first one to report on this developing story" " Manoj have you got any latest information on the health of Jayalalitha ?"

Manoj-- " all the supporters are praying for her early recovery. And they are convinced that somehow the DMK Party was behind this affliction and are demanding a CBI probe.. Rajdeep"

Breaking News Alert -- AIDMK Supporters demanding a CBI probe in this issue

The BIG FIGHT – Barkha " AIDMK supporters today went berserk in Chennai, blaming DMK for their dear Amma suffering from diarrhea. The use of laxatives as a weapon of personal political sabotage is unprecedented in Indian politics. To discuss the ramifications of this development we have panel consisting of members from both DMK & AIDMK “.

Barkha questioning DMK party member " How would you respond to these allegations by AIDMK supporters?" DMK party member -- "This is nothing but a ploy by Jaylalitha to get the sympathy of the people with her, its a reverse conspiracy. How do we know if she is actually suffering from diarrahea ? Can the AIDMK show us the evidence ?? We are not afraid of the CBI probe,, just like we were not afraid of the JPC"

Breaking News Alert -- DMK denies any involvement are calling it just another conspiracy theory of AIDMK

AIDMK member responds back to the DMK " We can show the evidence to anybody who wants it,, and answering about the reverse conspiracy.. if our Amma had to fake some illness would she not have faked anything more glamorous like a heart attack or a fracture.. This is a thought thru attack by DMK to ensure she is dehydrated and therefore cannot campaign for the elections, we have called on all people of Chennai for a BANDH (general strike)to protest against this intimidation by the ruling party"

Breaking News Alert -- AIDMK calling for a BANDH in Chennai for 2 days in protest

By this time I had reached my breaking point and abrupty changed the channel.

February 2, 2011

Reason 'why everything happens for a Reason'

For all those who believe in the calling of Destiny and the theory "Everything happens for a reason" have been absolutely right all this while. Infact the journey of our lives is no more in the realms of blind faith & empty belief .. everything in our life truly happens for a reason, but that reason is neither supernatural divinity or fate.

It happens because of a mysterious statistical phenomenon called "Regression towards the Mean".

Yes.. Ladies & Gentlemen.. the answer to our lives trial is not the mightly Soul but mundane Statistics. And our lives and all that happens in it is governed by the laws of statistics. Similar to the physical objects that follow the law of physics.

Everything in life.. regresses towards the mean.

What exactly is regression toward the mean -

Shaughnessy and Zechmeister (1990) said that regression toward the mean is a phenomenon that is similar to several everyday expressions such as "law of averages", "things will even out" or "we are due for a good day after a string of bad ones". And one that I would like to add is "it can't possibly get worse (or better) than this!" Basically what all these phrases are saying is that "extreme experiences tend to be balanced by less extreme experiences"

Infact by now I am so used to the fact that a Terrific year will be followed by a couple of Terrifying years. After all the law of regression to the mean is inescapable.

Consider a simple example: a class of students takes a 100-item true/false test on a subject. Suppose that all students choose randomly on all questions. Then, each student’s score would be a realization of one of a set of i.i.d. random variables, with a mean of 50. Naturally, some students will score substantially above 50 and some substantially below 50 just by chance. If one takes only the top scoring 10% of the students and gives them a second test on which they again choose randomly on all items, the mean score would again be expected to be close to 50. Thus the mean of these students would “regress” all the way back to the mean of all students who took the original test. No matter what a student scores on the original test, the best prediction of his score on the second test is 50.

If there were no luck or random guessing involved in the answers supplied by students to the test questions then all students would score the same on the second test as they scored on the original test, and there would be no regression toward the mean.

But all of us have lived long enough to know .. Luck plays a vital role in ones life.. far more that what we openly acknowledge. However regression to the mean would ential that all of us would have fairly the same level of luck if cummulated from cradle to grave.

The concept of regression comes from genetics and was popularized by Sir Francis Galton during the late 19th century with the publication of Regression towards mediocrity in hereditary stature. Galton observed that extreme characteristics (e.g., height) in parents are not passed on completely to their offspring. Rather, the characteristics in the offspring regress towards a mediocre point (a point which has since been identified as the mean).

Although Galton popularized the concept of regression, he fundamentally misunderstood the phenomenon; thus, his understanding of regression differs from that of modern statisticians as follows: Galton observed correctly that the characteristics of an individual are not determined completely by their parents; there must be another source. However, his explanation is that “A child inherits partly from his parents, partly from his ancestors. In other words, Galton saw regression toward the mean as simply an inheritance of characteristics from ancestors that are not expressed in the parents; he did not understand regression to the mean as a general statistical phenomenon. In contrast to this view, it is now known that regression towards the mean occurs in all bivariate normal distributions.

So now you know the reason 'why everything happens for a reason" because life tends to regress towards the mean and it ensures that each one of us has fair share of glory & agony. By the time we hit the grave the our life's balance sheet of happiness & sorrow is balanced towards the mean value of entire humanity. Infact Hindu philosophy has taken the concept to the next level by incorporating that bad deeds done in this life would have to paid for by misfortune in the next life. Well "Regression to the mean" is inescapable even in afterlife. And it might be likely that the Toaist philosophy of Yin-Yang is derieved by the observation that everything in life tends to regress to the mean.. the balance between day & night, darkness & light.

If you need any more information please contact the nearest Statistician. For online help follow the links from where I have borrowed most of the verbiage for this blog. Regression source 1 Regression source 2 Regression source 3